“I wouldn’t want that putt.” “Are you kidding? You’d kill for that putt.”

“What did he hit?” “Not enough.”

“Player? What player? Is that like a player to be named later?” “No, its Gary Player, you nitwit.”

“So she said she was going to try and make tiramisu.” “What’s tiramisu?” “All I know is it meant she was going to spend all day in the kitchen and I could stay in the living room and watch golf.”

“Keep watching the green.” “I am watching the green. There’s nobody on the green.”

“So he has a free ticket for me and he says, why don’t you bring one of your sons along. Well, that’s like Sophie’s Choice.”

“I always forget, which is the better score? 70 or 72?”

“You can always get married again, but the chances of being invited to play Augusta National twice is slim.”

“Be careful out there. It’s not going to be pretty. You’ll see best friends kill each other for a chair spot.”

“I want to see the Japanese guy win. Just so he takes off his hat.”

“Hey Fuzzy, thanks for the memories.”

“Well, they’re not walking like they like each other.”

“I never want this to end. I hope there’s a playoff and they keep bouncing back and forth between 10 and 18 about 9 times.” “You’re killing me.”

“He’s having a round like the priest in ‘Caddyshack.’” “Cue the frog in the cup.” “Cue the rain and the lightning.”