Woman looking through binoculars at golfer approaching from ninth fairway: “Is that Tiger?” “No.” “How can you tell?” “Tiger’s not left-handed.”

Man in shorts pointing across course. “We should be over there.” “We WERE over there.” “We should be over there NOW.”

Man wearing UNC shirt. “I know the gym is only four blocks away, but I just can’t seem to get over there unless I drive.”

Woman in blue down filled parka shivering on Tuesday. “Look, my fingers are the same color as my coat.”

A guy nodding to his friend sitting on the ground, back leaning against a tree and hat over his eyes: “Bruce is fading.” “Correction. Bruce has faded.”

Young whippersnapper smiling as he separates from his 80-year-old father at the big tree. “Just don’t get into any fights.”

One of the 4 pillars of Canadian golf to a Middle North American “Why does it take longer to play a round of golf in Canada?” “I don’t know, why?” “Because you’re always having to wait till the Zamboni cleans the greens.”

Man intently studying his Spectator Guide: “Hey, did you realize that both nines are palindromes? 454343454 and 443545344?” “What?”

“Oww, you’re stepping on my feet.” “I’m taller when I’m stepping on your feet.”

“It’s like I’ve died and gone to heaven.” “Who knew heaven served beer?” “That’s heaven for you.”